He probably thought I was nuts.
There was one time, where I got a “2” on one minor, unimportant test in school. When I got it back from my old teacher, I ran home crying because I was devastated and thought I failed everyone (mostly myself).
My brother thought I was beaten up or something and was released and upset at the same time once he found out the true reason I was crying.
“Who cries about a “2”?!”
Well, weird little me does…
—
Here is a funny plot twist:
My mother years later revealed me that my teacher came up with the mistakes in this test.
She basically invented “mistakes” in order to teach me what it feels like to make mistakes. Maybe she was right about teaching me early on that I am not perfect. But her methods were weird.
This “2” on the test was the first time I ever got anything wrong in four years of school. My teacher told my mother that she thought it would be healthy for me to know that I am NOT perfect. That I do make mistakes too.
But the problem was I didn’t make any mistakes at this given test. I gave all the right answers. And still “failed“ the test.
“You mark things as wrong when they are not and then try to teach me that it’s OK to make mistakes?” I don’t see in which universe this behavior is healthy for a young child.
No wonder I was devastated when I got back my fake “2” on the test. Because deep down I know I was right. And I didn’t understand why I “failed”.
And I felt betrayed and angry.
—
(And here comes some deep shit…)
Life tends to be a lot like my old teacher.
You can do everything right. You can prepare for all situations. Learn anything you need. And still “fail” because an old lady (life?) feels like teaching you a lesson.
Now you can beat yourself up like my younger self did. Go home and cry. Tell everyone that it wasn’t fair. And be all butt-hurt about it.
Or you can just see and accept it as it is. Life is just a little mess to you sometimes. It will randomly beat you down. Even if you did everything right.
You acted like you “should have behaved”. And still your girlfriend leaves you. Your boss fires you. Or you fail at the final exam.
Now that all might seem pretty unfair. But we have to remember that life has only the best intentions for you. Just like my old teacher.
She didn’t do it to hurt me (I hope). Or make me feel bad about myself. There were good intentions behind her actions. My anger was just the way I felt about it back then. How I reacted to the situation.
In every “bad” life situation, with each new event, you can choose how you will respond to it. It’s actually our own thinking which makes any life situation “good“ or “bad” in the first place. We label it. And we can also change the labels anytime.
All hell might be breaking loose right now and you might feel like a complete loser or even failure.
But eventually – years later – SOMEONE tells you that even though it seemed like you failed, you actually did everything right the whole time. Where you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be.
Someone will reveal to you, that your “teacher“ lied to you.
You are still perfect.
