It’s scary to open yourself up to someone. I mean, to REALLY open up to someone takes balls. To let them see you as you really are, with all your flaws and imperfections and then still hope that they – for some weird reason – still like you, and not run away screaming, sounds crazy to me!
At least that’s how I felt when I tried to open up to someone in the past, and it didn’t quite work out well for me. Then, I was not only scared but also scarred. And we all know that opening up to someone again after being hurt becomes even harder, or sometimes even close to impossible.
Maybe I was too naive for most of my life.
It could be that I cruised through the world thinking that everybody might be my friend and everyone out there is also trying to do good to everyone around them as well. But a naive person gets burned pretty damn fast when they meet one of these nasty little suckers out there. And when a naive boy, like myself, gets crushed by someone who is really out there to get you, it’s inevitable to take some form of serious damage from it.
But in the best case, you lose your naivety and replace it with new-found pit of cynicism toward the world. I moved from a boy who thought the world was good, to one who KNEW the world was terrible and harsh. And to be honest, until then I didn’t know if that was any better. It felt worse for sure.
And maybe it was.
But now, as I’ve grown a little bit older, I realized that it was just one step closer to where I needed to be.
I needed to drop my naive and childish attitude, and maybe I also had to dip into this hateful period of cynicism as well. But once I even muttled through this phase in my life as well, I realized one big thing…
At the other side of cynicism lies courage. This might sound dumb at first, but I feel like there’s something to it.
Because when you finally KNOW that the world is a terrible place and there are indeed people out there who aim to hurt you, you also realize that you might be strong enough to handle it.
Everyone can deal with a harsh reality, but you can’t deal with an indefinite illusion.
So… live with an open heart, but be careful who you open yourself up to.
