A long time ago I did someone a huge favor and really hoped they would return it in one way or the other at a later point in my life.
But of course, they never did…
And because I deep down expected them to, I got super pissed at them when they didn’t as they clearly betrayed me and merely used me for my generous help, time and effort.
So, after I cooled off again, I wondered: why did I even decide to help them in the first place? And why was I so eager to get something back in return for my “selfless” help?
Maybe, I did it to generate some leverage for myself. Or maybe, I just liked the idea that I am helping out so I could finally feel a little bit better about myself too, patting myself on the back on how much of a “good person” I am.
But I guess in reality my “selfless act” was merely a selfish trade in disguise. I did something for them, so they might as well do something for me later.
And then I wondered: if that was indeed true, is it then still “kindness” we are talking about?
We are not supposed to expect something in return for the good things we bring forward and out into the world.
I’ll do this for you (period).
I’ll do this for you (comma), but then you have to do something for me too…
The assumption would be that we are all better off giving without expecting anything in return. It’s one of the few universal principles which makes no sense on paper and yet can be observed in the real world all the time.
And of course, we could argue about that, because who assures us that we will not be ripped off of the few things we still have left too?
But if it is indeed true, and in the long run we are always better off this way, why do we then feel the urge to replace the period with the comma nonetheless?
It’s the EXPECTATION of receiving good things in return for our kindness which haunts us and ultimately drives us away from the place in which we could also receive these good things.
So what would happen if we just drop the expectations?
Most certainly we might end up at a place in which we are doing something for the people we care about, merely because we care about them.
And isn’t that a good enough reason?
