For years, I simply couldn‘t make myself feel good enough about myself. This nagging voice inside my head just wouldn’t let me sleep at night.
Everyday I was so focused on how others would perceive me, I shapeshifted myself into all kinds of weird things depending on who I was talking to at any given moment. It’s an exhausting (and completely retarded) defense mechanism which, so far, got me nowhere.
Still, at some point we all have learn to let go of that superficial I-am-trying-to-belong-so-would-you-please-like-me kind of crap since true freedom lies in looking yourself in the mirror and being OK with what you see.
And we gotta love the whole package: with all that thin hair, the sleepy eyes and these dark eye bags underneath them.
Because when we do, there will be these short windows of peace in which…
The Nagging Voice Inside Your Head Shuts The Fuck Up
Maybe not today, and probably also not tomorrow. But over time it will lose a tiny bit of its power over you.
With every new day the critic inside you grows a bit more quiet. And as it does, you’ll also get your much needed energy back. Energy you wasted on maintaining this “perfect image” and desperately tried to hide your weaknesses from others but ultimately failed at it anyways.
All these exhausting efforts to maintain a stupid masquerade of insecure falsehood and narcistic fronting…
Imagine what we could accomplish if we would no longer try to control everyone else’s expectations and the way they might see us, and simply reallocate all this used-up energy to something truly meaningful instead?
Because when we do…
YOUR “weakness” Transforms
Instead of seeing your shortcomings as limitations you’ll suddenly begin to see them as features. And because you realize they are what makes you special in the first place, you no longer shy away from putting them out there.
Suddenly there’s no reason to play on the defense anymore. No more worrying about looking dumb in front of others. No more talking yourself out of approaching that one girl at the bar. No more fear of dumping a lot of money into a (possibly) failing business.
Your circumstances will change almost immediately, and with it also the people around you. They will be confused about how you can be so confident about THAT? (Maybe he’s rich?) They might even envy you for it, because deep down they are holding back on something great within them as well.
But most of all, they will be drawn towards you.
We don’t talk about this enough, but being someone who is in full alignment with himself is extremely intoxicating, especially since it became so rare these days and people are not used to it anymore.
And so these people fly like flies into the light…
And as they stay close to this liberating source of “OK-with-oneself-ness”, something might even rub off on them, and they might start to wonder: “Could this be me too?”
Suddenly there‘s an alternative to trying to fit in and molding yourself into all kinds of weird and fucked-up versions of yourself. And maybe even for the first time you allow yourself to show them your real you.
And that’s how you…
Set yourself apart
Because everyone is trying to fit in and you couldn’t care less about that crap. That’s why you embrace your individuality (with all its flaws and imperfections) and which made you special in the first place.
I will probably never feel good enough (or even worthy of) of anything great. I will also probably never be the best writer in the world or even get somewhere close to that.
But I could be the best “imperfect” writer…
I could be the best at what makes me, well, me.
And that’s something no one could ever take away from me.
