From time to time we have to make some really TOUGH decisions in our lives. These are the decisions that – when you look back years from now – you would think about saying that they literally turned your life around and gave it a whole new meaning!
You will look back and feel like it was all worth the trouble and it was a GOOD decision because it changed YOU. But what can you do when you are still doubting yourself NOW? How can you overcome this very disturbing phase after making big decisions? Read on.
1. You decided upon your best knowledge.
One big problem with making tough decisions is that whenever you are deciding to do something, you are very limited with your knowledge on the consequences. Even if you do all the research and you know all the details about each option you are still in the unclear. Life is just a bit too random to think about everything. You have to let go of the thought of making the “perfect” decision. You have to reframe it to: “I made the best decision for me based on the knowledge I had! And that is enough!”.
2. You decided from higher state of consciousness.
Big decisions are not just made in-between lunch break. You think about it A LOT. You spend time thinking about, picturing the consequences, seeing future scenarios, you think about how it might impact your life and how things will work out. You get out to nature to clear your mind again and reset your judgement. You do research on your options and you get as much information as possible. Big decisions are not decided upon that easily. And that alone should guarantee you that you made a good work in making this decision. You did everything you could and you decided upon your best judgement.
3. You question your decisions only while in a lower state of mind.
You will question your decision, most of the time as soon as the next day! You have to understand that this is very common and you should not beat yourself up because of that. Just relax and try to recall why you decided for that option. You have to understand that you did it upon your best judgement, at your highest state of consciousness. You did everything you could. When you are now finding yourself questioning your past behaviour you might have lost touch with that state of mind. Put the focus back on you and why you have decided for that very option. You will realise that it was a good decision.
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4. You should stick to your decision for some time.
Usually what happens when you make big decisions and you are not yet used to it, is that you at first will freak out. Right after your decision went final, you will question yourself if it was the right decision, if you did the “right” thing. What if you were wrong? Whatever thoughts may plague you, give yourself some time. Let it rest for some minutes. See how it unfolds. Then – after some time – step back and look at your situation once more.
5. You can always change as soon new information arises.
You should definitely stick with your decision for some time. But should you find out about new facts that drastically change your perspective you might want to reconsider. I am not talking about stuff like “I want to go back to my ex-girlfriend, because after leaving her, I now know that I love her!”. Just because you are uncomfortable now doesn’t mean to freak yourself out, go all crazy and through the decisions you made over board. Just take it as a calming thought that whenever you feel like it was a bad decision you can ALWAYS change again. As soon as you understand this, you will literally become a 100% better decision maker!
6. It is normal to doubt yourself.
Understand that it is totally normal to worry about having made the wrong decision. Everybody has the same issues here. Thinking about this might calm your nerves again and make you realise that it is not YOU who is the only one having this problems. Big decisions are tough and decision-making is like a muscle. You have to train it and learn from it. The more decisions you make the easier making huge, meaningful decisions in your life will become for you.
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7. You have the power to handle the consequences.
Doubt, fear and insecurity are quite common when it comes to making some really important decisions in our life. You are stepping into the unknown and therefore you are very careful and also insecure about if this is really the right way to go. You have to remember that whatever happens, you have the power to handle the consequences. Try this: picture the worst thing that could happen to you. The worst outcome of this decision. Then think about handling this very situation. It might be an unpleasant experience, but you will realise that you will always have the ability to fix it again.
8. You imagine the consequences worse than they will be.
Additionally, you often picture possible (bad) consequences way worse than they will actually unfold in the future. Thinking about these awful scenarios might freak you out right now, but oftentimes how it will work out in the end is not even remotely close to that picture you have drawn in your mind. It will be in fact much easier to handle. Still if you learn how to accept and handle the worst possible scenario you could imagine and you know that you will be OK in the end, don’t you think you can handle the REAL stuff that is coming your way?
9. Oftentimes it is all made up in your head.
Our head is sometimes super creative when it comes to possible worst-case scenarios that can happened in the near future. Sometimes it is a little bit too creative. You will find yourself thinking about the WEIRDEST and WORST things that could possibly go wrong. Therefore you have to calm your mind again. Let your brain go crazy from some time and let it come up with all that fucked up stuff it tries to make you believe will happen. Then ask yourself (honestly) if you think you could HANDLE them? The answer is always yes. And this thought alone can guarantee you that whatever gets thrown at you, you will be able to cope with it.
10. The consequences will not kill you.
Nothing is as bad as you might experience it. It might be unpleasant now. It might be embarrassing or people will laugh at you or talk stupid stuff behind your back about you. They might call you names or might think you are crazy. But still, how important is that in YOUR life? Think back to the worst and most embarrassing experience you had: it was awful back then, but how do you feel now about it? Don’t you think you will feel similar unfazed about the consequences of your current decision in about one year from now? Would you even care about it in one year from now?
11. Bad decisions don’t make you a bad person.
Just by making some bad decisions in your life you are not becoming a bad person. You are no failure just by trying something new. Things are just turning out differently than you expected them to be. That’s it, and nothing more. Some people will try to put an image onto you that you are a failure because the decision you made turned out to be a bad one. But it is THEIR image and you don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to slip into the role they try to put you in. Decisions are part of your life, bad decisions happen, and are often the foundation to you becoming a stronger, wiser and more fulfilled person. Think about all the bad decisions you made in your life and how they shaped you as a person! I doubt it that you would undo any of them, because they caused you to become what you are today!
You may also like some good reads? Check this out:
- How to Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want
by Marilyn Tam - The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
by Marilyn Tam
by Jack Canfield12. You are still fine!
Weird stuff is happening in life. But whatever happens to you, you are still OK. Your life situation might be not as you think it should be or how you would like it to be, but the real you is still there being totally fine. Your real you has no problems. There are just experiences you make into problems. You should see them as what they are: stuff that needs to get handled. Don’t confuse bad scenarios in your life with the essence that is you. Don’t make them into a personal problem! Come back to center and take a good look at your life situation. The moment you separate yourself from your life situation and understand that it is not your LIFE you are in harmony. There can be chaos all around you, but YOU are sitting in the centre of the hurricane, and you are still fine!
