Learn which things I decided to stop doing in order to become more happy and more fulfilled! Check this list of 10 things you do that make you “achieve” unhappiness in your life and why you should remove them from your daily life, once and for all.
When 13 year-old Logan LaPlante grows up, he wants to be happy and healthy. I was watching this video and I said to my self: “Hey, that it what I want for myself too! I JUST want to be happy!” I found that all the stuff I am trying to accomplish in my life, I just do them to become happy after all! But then I thought, maybe it is not about what I have to do, but furthermore what I should STOP doing? (That thought pretty much “wowed” me at first! So I decided to make a list of all the stuff that I should stop doing in order to achieve my happiness I was looking for all the time!
1. Complain.
Everybody does it from time to time. But also everybody knows how annoying it is to be around somebody who finds nothing else to talk about other than how bad stuff is. It just really drags you down and you just wish for them to finally shut up with all that nonsense. Somehow I tend to see in others how fucked up this behaviour is, but yet also catch myself doing it myself in the very next moment. I somehow justified it by saying that I am having some REAL issues and problems here. But let’s be honest: complaining about stuff is always wasted energy and nobody really wants to hear that.
People love to be around light-hearted, easy-going and happy people, who don’t take stuff so damn seriously.
I thought, maybe I try being THIS kind of person for once! So I dropped all that toxic behaviour and something else took its place. As I decided to totally remove it from my life, I found that more people love to be around me, I got some really cool new friends, who value my joyful and non-judgemental new attitude. I decided to no longer drag people down by my own toxic thoughts and instead be a source of positive anchoring.
I tried to make every group of people I got in contact with a little bit better because I was here!
You may also like: How Giving Up Complaining Can Transform Your Life
2. Avoid your problems.
I guess everybody can relate to that. People just love to avoid inconvinient situation. Instead of doing the homework you play computer games. Instead of working you check your emails and facebook. Instead of studying you maybe clean your room (although you don’t really like that either).
What I usually did when I was facing some tough times in my life was doing ANYTHING BUT handling my problems.
I tried to avoid them as much as possible. And I used every little tool I got to accomplish this very task. Playing video games, going out having some drinks, heck, even washing the dishes was a better option than facing some of my very problems. But soon I understood that these problems just won’t disappear by simply not acknowleding them. They were still there.
Nothing has changed. I just postponed the problem and oftentimes made it worse.
So I tried a little experiment and did the complete opposite of my usual behaviour for some time. I tackled everything that I was postponing or avoiding. Everything that I felt unease at doing, everything that I thought would be inconvinient or uncomfortable.
Action steps:
- NOW do something you always avoided doing.
- Just do it for the sake of doing it.
- Then sit down and see how you feel about. You will feel surprised on how your attitude will change.
3. Compare yourself to others.
This is something I did for myself for a LONG time. I tended to compare myself to others and frustrated myself about the things they had and I didn’t have. It is the express road to unhappiness. Been there, done that!
What I found more useful is seeing others as an inspiration.
They can be your source of motivation, your drive to achieve the same. Instead of beating yourself up because you are not at the same level, try to see it as a challenge to reach that very level. Take what you want for yourself and what you like and discard what you don’t want in your life.
4. Worry about things that have not happened yet.
Ah, a good one. People love to worry. And most of the time about stuff that didn’t even happen yet.
I have done that a lot for myself and it just makes things worse. You lose all your focus and your motivation because you see no sense in going on anymore. You picture your future darker than it actually is and therefore sabotage yourself into taking any action to actually making it better (which is in the end some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy).
When you catch yourself worrying about stuff, try to be very alert and ask yourself: “Am I worrying about something that is already happening, happened or something I believe might happen?”. Either way you know what you have to do: stop the worrying and take some precise action towards changing this very situation into something you desire!
5. Let your problems overwhelm you.
Handling your problems is difficult when you believe that you are not capable of doing so. Oftentimes we get into such an emotional state when we imagine that we have to fix all our problems at ONCE. But this is never the case. You should not feel overwhelmed when you look at your current life situation.
Just wake up every day and ask yourself how you can change and what actions you can undertake to improve your life just a TINY bit.
What do you have to do TODAY in order to make your life a little bit better than it was the day before? This is how you handle your life challenges in a grounded manner.
6. Stay in relationships that no longer serve you.
Relationships are great, but both parties have to put in a lot of work and effort to make it work together. Oftentimes it can also happen when there is some imbalance in the relationship that one partner gives way more than the other one. It might even feel like your partner is dragging you down and leeching from your good emotions.
(Sometimes it might also be you acting like this, tough)
Don’t stay in relationships that suck on your good feelings and that no longer serve you (e.g. energy vampires, emotional leeches, critical people, unconscious people, etc.). You might be surprised how refreshed and free you can feel once you let go all the people that drag you down.
7. Try to change others.
You cannot achieve happiness for yourself by trying to change others. Other people will never be the main source of your happiness.
Come to realise that it is YOU who has the responsibility to make yourself happy.
You can never change other people. You can inspire other people to change themselves, but you can never force them to be different. Also you should never link your own happiness to the reaction of some people’s reactions around you. Life is to random to do that.
Go back to centre and find happiness within. If you find yourself having the desire to change others, think about how you can change YOUR perspective or attitude towards that very person/scenario.
You will be surprised how much you can change by simply turning your attitude around.
8. Try to please others.
Everybody wants to be pleased, but nobody wants to be a pleaser. Everybody is so focused on what THEY are getting out of life.
They forget that in order to get something they have to give first! Not the other way round. You have to provide value to others in order for them to see it and appreciate your efforts. The next time you want others to make you happy or do something for your, ask yourself how YOU can do something to make their life better!
You will realise that making other people happy, will also make you happy. Big times.
9. Attach yourself to goals, outcomes, statuses, things, people,…
When you attach your own happiness to external factors you are doomed to fail. There will always be ups and downs in life, and as long as you tie your emotions to these roller coaster ride that is life, you will feel a constant chaos of moody feelings. You will feel crushed and disappointed because things change. Oftentimes faster than you want them to be. You cannot identify yourself by external factors like goals, outcomes or things, since they will sooner or later disappear.
“Whatever you own will in the end own you.” – Tyler Durden.
10. Do things you don’t love.
Stop doing stuff you don’t like doing. Be open-minded to finding alternatives. And stop wasting your precious energy on stuff you don’t love doing. Just stop and do something you truly care about. Even if your current life situation just allows you to do this once a week. But don’t come up with excuses why you can’t do this or that.
When you want something in your life, become your own creator, and make it happen.
