#19 – How You Speak To People Determines The Relationship

Your word has power. It is a reflection of your daily thoughts. You are thinking thousands of thoughts a day (but most of them are repetitive anyways and statistics say that 90% of them are even negative, which is an own issue in itself).

Your words are the representation of the sum of these thoughts. If you have bad quality thoughts about something, chances are high that these thoughts will manifest themself in your words and you might speak them out loud. When you think negatively about somebody, there is also a high chance that you will tell somebody about it. But the problem here is that the stuff you say to others creates a ripple effect in the world and therefore you should watch out carefully.

The best way is to start at the source, which is your thoughts, but to get aware of it, it is often better to start with the result.

Challenge: Watch yourself how often a day you talk bad about somebody (maybe you are even trash talking to a friend about your relationship?).

After you made yourself conscious about the fact that you do it, try to fix it. Realize that trash talking in itself doesn’t solve you any other purpose. You think you do it to let off some steam, but I can assure you, nothing helpful arises out of it. First of all, trash talking behind somebody’s back will not fix anything at all, because it is not the right person you are talking to. Women tend to do this more often than men, but this is just a general trend, men do this also of course but they generally don’t speak about their (deep and moving) issues with their friends that often.

Often people spend quite some time talking about their issues with their relationships with their best friends (or even not so good friends), but seem to have given up trying to break through to their spouse and really address the issue.

3 Easy Steps To Improve Your Personal And Business Relationships

  1. Address the right person – First of all always speak to the right person. If there is some problem try to solve it with the person it is connected to, which is your partner (business partner, spouse, friend, etc).
  2. Invest time – The next step would be spending the SAME amount of time and effort to really communicate your issues to your partner and try to work them out, as you would spend on explaining your friends how little your partner understands you.
  3. Seek to understand first – The third part is sought to understand then to be understood. You have to have empathy for your significant other. What does it feel like being it HIS/HER shoes? Only when you seek to understand them first, you can be really understand yourself.