Amazon rejected my new book. They also disabled my account for the next 12 months because I somehow pissed them off. I called the book “Life Sucks, But That’s OK!” And they didn’t like the title as much as I did.
Still, the title communicates something everybody can relate to. Well, at least we can relate to the first part of it. The second one, not so much. Because when life sucks, that’s not OK at all.
But since we all know from experience that life sucks from time to time (and for some of us more than we want it to), we are challenged to make the best of it nonetheless. What else could we possibly do about it?
We have to learn how to handle all that crap life throws at us and deal with it in at least an OK-ish way.
1. Why does my life suck so much? Why do I suck? Like damn, I really suck at everything.
We all have these thoughts… (I know, I know, that’s a big assumption to be honest. It could also just be me, who has these toxic thoughts loops). I might also be a little bit more vulnerable to these negative things than others.
And then I annoy everyone around me with these bursts of negative thoughts and self-destruction. Until I eventually get the hang of it again. Or not. Or the people around leave me because they can’t bear listening to the same old stories of mine.
It’s just part of (my) life, I guess. I am way more skeptical and more critical towards myself than others. And of course, most of the times it’s good to put self-awareness and constructive criticism towards oneself. It allows you to improve and learn.
But when this “criticism” turns into self-hate, agony and pain, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate if I am not being a tiny bit too harsh on myself.
So I had to do a reality check.
And then… “I really suck at everything!” might slowly turn into something less extreme.
Because, what am I referring to when I keep telling myself that EVERYTHING is going wrong? Most of the times it’s just a couple little things that need to be fixed or tweaked:
- If I list ALL THE THINGS (everything?) that are not working out right now like I wish them to, I bet I can’t list more than just a couple of things.
- If I decide to put in the same time and effort into finding an equal number of things that DO work out just fine right now, I might quickly realize that my idea of “I suck at EVERYTHING!” is pretty fucking flawed.
Call him from time to time.
2. I am alone. How am I supposed to do it all by myself? I have nobody!
I get it. I am alone all the time as well (if you don’t count my cat). And even though I have lovely people and friends around me, I still more than often feel alone on my path.
I have to figure it out all by myself. Alone.
That’s the story I keep telling myself at least. And if I listen to it often enough, of course my life seems to suck quite a lot.
But here is how it really works:
Everyone is going through his personal version of “struggle”. Everyone is having his unique challenges. What might be easy for someone, might be the biggest challenge for someone else.
Still, we have to look at the similarities in all these challenges if we want to move beyond our obstacles and shortcomings:
- I am challenged because of limited resources. Now I have to become resourceful and create new more efficient ways of doing stuff.
- I am handicapped because of physical conditions. Now I have to find new alternative ways to follow my passion. Or even find a new one.
- I am haunted by the idea of “why me?”. I question why whatever happened to me had to happen to me and I resist my life. Now I am challenged to find acceptance and bliss in my new life situation.
It goes on.
Different manifestations of the same underlying problems and challenges. And although it seems completely different on the superficial level, the general principles underneath it are all the same.
And once you fully understand this, you’ll realize that we all can support each other.
We can all learn from one another:
- How that one woman fights against her illness to keep providing for her children might for whatever reason inspire you to start your real estate business – for whatever illogical and strange reason.
- That one piece of content you wrote, might make one person on the other end of the world step up and overcome their shortcomings. Because you touched them at the right spot and it hit a nerve.
- That one passage in this random book a friend gave you might offer you the exact insight and solution you need to solve the problem you are currently facing.
We are all on the same team. We just have to start playing together. Teamwork makes the dream work lol.
3. It’s too much! Too much work, too much pressure, too much responsibilities! AAAHHH!
I am easily overwhelmed, especially when “everything in my life sucks!” My brain can’t handle multi-tasking and dealing with more than one responsibility at all.
And being forced to fix a lot of areas at once, because they all seem urgent, is just a huge pain in the butt and I usually freak out in an instant.
Now I have to learn how to deal with this situation. I have to cultivate patience. I have to take a couple of deep breaths again. But it’s difficult to sit still and calm your mind again, when there is chaos all around you. It’s difficult to go all “ohm-ohm” when my girlfriend dumps me, or I lose my job without warning and I don’t know how to put food on my table next month.
When this happens and I am overwhelmed, I might as well have to take a couple of steps back and think about where I took the wrong turn. And then autocorrect and muster up the willpower to take the first step in a different direction. The right direction.
Trying to fix just one thing at once.
And then the next.
And then the next.
And soon my life will suck a tiny bit less and I’ll suddenly be super OK with that!