Everybody Wants To Be Pleased But Nobody Wants A Pleaser

In a relationship everybody is looking for that special person. There is this big picture in our head what our ideal partner (the one?) should look like and how he should behave and what he should do, etc. But sometimes we focus our thoughts so much on what we want, and we forget what we don’t want, which is equally important. You have to know everything you are looking for in a person and what you are not looking for. Also, what the most people forget here is, that you as well might have to BECOME somebody better. Somebody who could ATTRACT that exact person, and not only for a night, or a week, but for your life time.

You also have to think about all the qualities you should have and bring into the relationship in order for that person to be fulfilled as well. But now comes the tricky part. Everybody wants to have his needs met, but nobody wants a pleaser who does everything you want him to do. It is because you will just get kinda bored.

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They are in place to give you variety. Life would be extremely boring if you get everything you want in that exact moment you tell yourself you want it. There would be no fun in taking on the challenges and there would be no fulfillment in finally achieving them. Everybody would have everything and there would be no thrill in continuing. Think about it for a second.

Please Yourself First In Order To Be Able To Please Others

In a relationship your main goal should not be to please the other person as long as he/she pleases you too. Because with that attitude you are committed to feel a lot of pain. You should focus on creating something together. Supporting each other and growing stronger everyday. Pulling each other up when life beats you down. Having a clear vision for you both and how you can influence and enhance the other people around you positively. How you can make a change in the world.

This should be your focus.

A lot of people are so focused on their little me and us, that they forget that they are actually here to serve a much bigger purpose. Your life means nothing if you don’t use it to make other’s lives better. And this is what everybody should be striving towards.

(Photo: Everybody needs somebody)

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  • Yes… if you’re not happy yourself, you can’t make anyone else happy. Figure out what you stand and what you’re all about then offer that and see if someone on the other side “sticks”. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be!

  • Thomas Mondel

    Exactly! I like your last sentence there. You can’t please everyone!