This article took me WAY LONGER than expected.
I procrastinated and couldn’t finish it for given reasons:
1. I don’t know how
“I am going to be a millionaire by the age of 35!”
That sounds super fun and ambitious as long as 35 is far far away and I don’t feel stressed out about being nowhere close to this ridiculous idea.
But I still got time, right?
So I guess, I am fine!
And with this comfortable thought I happily procrastinate, wasting more and more years of my given time. Never giving it a real shot. And then secretly “hoping” that there is enough time left to eventually do it someday.
But not TODAY.
(WHAT DO WE SAY TO THE GOD OF…. ah whatever…)
It’s delusional and stupid. But most of all, it’s only human.
I can’t even pay my rent for next month. So of course I want to finally remove this “money issue” out of my life. And there is a certain “force” pulling me towards this goal.
But could it be that there are other forces keeping me AWAY from it as well?
- The nagging feeling of not knowing where to start? Just thinking about it makes me freak out…
- Or the uncomfortable pressure of feeling overwhelmed.
- Or the embarrassing realization that I lack fundamental skills and knowledge to achieve this big goal. And I just don’t know what to do about it.
And with these two opposing powers pushing me back and forth, I end up right where I left off. Just a bit more insecure and doubtful about the whole thing than when I first started out.
And then I procrastinate.
All these skill deficits and unknowns fuel into my procrastination habit. If I lack the skills to complete certain tasks, it is only natural to avoid doing them.
- Talking to strangers is difficult. Better avoid it.
- Networking with people comes unnatural to me. Better not do it.
- I never learned how to write. Better skip that one too.
- I have never sold anything. Better not start now.
And here is the next big obstacle:
I might even feel uncomfortable ADMITTING to myself that I suck at certain areas in my life. Or I might lack the self-awareness to even realize it.
My ego might get in my way as well.
Because I don’t want to look dumb. Or stupid. Or both.
And then I mentally block out the fact that I lack the skills I need to cultivate in order to get the things done.
Thus procrastinating may seem like the better option here.
TL;DR: If you are trying to tell me that I have to admit to myself (and to others) that I suck. And then still go for it anyways. And put a lot of effort into learning, failing and getting back up again. Only to repeat it once more the very next day… I might as well just procrastinate.
2. This stuff just sucks
What’s your favourite flavor of shit sandwich and does it come with an olive?
Now that’s an interesting question…
Because it covers the little secret they don’t tell you in high school:
Everything sucks from time to time.
And as you begin to leave the guided and secure path of first the former education system and then the corporate job you drift into, you begin to realize that “life” out there actually works a little bit differently.
There is nobody around anymore who tells you to do THIS until THEN.
You are an adult now, remember?
You do your own thing. And you soon realize that nobody is around anymore who actually gives a crap about your life.
And with this new found “freedom” you also find yourself in a spot where you have to start to think for yourself.
And make decisions accordingly.
And take responsibility over the things that happen BECAUSE of these decisions.
And be OK with the life situation they might lead you into.
And autocorrect along the way.
And be completely wrong on multiple occasions.
And feel like a loser afterwards.
And still find the strengths to try one more time.
Telling yourself it will be better this time.
Only to fall flat on your face anyways.
And so it continues for a while.
Procrastination sounds way easier than this shit. And then I do.
But eventually I have to return to the same question and ask myself:
What is the shit sandwich you pick?
What is the ONE thing you are actually OK with feeling terrible about? Because you care about it too much so you simply CANNOT NOT do it.
Because all the other stuff will always feel like a very bad trade of your time.
And taste like shit.
3. I don’t feel like doing it
I don’t feel like writing now either — for already given reasons.
It sucks to stare at the blank screen each morning.
But here is another secret (uh, two secrets already):
If you learn to cultivate the habit of doing something you KNOW will get you somewhere despite your current mood, you’ll have a power over your life only very little people have.
I’ll leave it with that.
4. It won’t work, why try?
“But what will my friends say when they see me fail?!”
Well your friends won’t say anything, because they will be right there with you, helping you to pick yourself up again.
And all the other cunts who don’t really care about you but linger around because they are just eagerly waiting for you to fall flat on your nose, only so they could make fun of you, well are just that… little cunts.
And if you let a stupid cunt dictate what are you going to try in your life and what you are going for or not, you might be a little cunt as well (sorry).
But I get it…
Fail of failure (and the embarrassment in the eyes of others) is a very strong reason I procrastinate as well.
Nobody wants to look like a failure.
And yet, just because you fail, doesn’t mean you are a failure.
You just tried something which didn’t work.
But have you ever thought about the opposite too?
What if it does?
5. This is too much pressure!
The other day I posted an article which got shared over 30000 times.
For the next 10 days I couldn’t publish anything anymore.
It never felt worthy of being as good as the last one.
And I wanted to keep up to this new level of achievement.
(And of course I couldn’t…)
But it took me SEVERAL DAYS until I got over my “fear of success” and the pressure that comes with it.
I’d rather procrastinate.
Because when I post no article I feel way better about myself than when I post one which obviously nobody really cares about.
6. You can’t make me!
In 2012 I was traveling for two months through Australia and I didn’t cut my hair.
When I was running around Hawaii one months later, a random girl in a bar said to me “I look like a rebel with that long hair!”
She was kinda into me I guess, although I doubt it it was because of my messy hair.
I loved being called a rebel though.
It felt good to “go against the norm”.
To be different.
Being a little rebel (even if it was only for one random evening) felt empowering.
“You can’t make me cut my hair! I am above all that shit!”
And you also can’t me me do my chores.
Or build the business I always wanted.
Or write this blog post.
Or publish it.
Because I am a rebel.
And if I want to procrastinate, I fucking do!