#169 – Sharing Little Gifts

“Let’s save a life today!”

That’s what I say to myself when I start writing everyday. It puts some kind of importance onto my writing. Even if nobody is reading my blog and nobody is giving a crap about the stuff I put out there. It still feels good to think that way.

Telling myself that I save lives makes it so much easier to follow through. Because saving lives is crucial, right?

And why would you not do it when you have the ability to do so?

That would be dumb.

In the worst case I only save my own.

I cleanse out all the bullshit within my own thinking. I unfold all the mysteries in my own mind. I grow as a person by expressing my thoughts and look at them in a new way.

(And I forget about my broken heart and my fucked up life for a while…)

I am selfish.

I only focus on saving my own life.

Elon Musk, one of my heroes, said that you have to do what you think is important. Or else you will quit.

He said that when he started Tesla he knew there is a big chance he might fail. He actually doubted that he will succeed.

“Why did you still do it?” the Interviewer asked him.

Because it was important. He thought he was saving lives. Maybe nobody else could feel like this about electric cars. Maybe he was the only one thinking like that. But for him it means the world.

“When you feel like something is important enough to be done, you have to do it even if there is a chance you might fail at it.”

And with such urgency there also arises a lot of perseverance within yourself.

Having a sense of “importance” in the work you do everyday is what keeps you going.

Do I really believe that writing my blog is saving lives? 

Well, on a sane day I might tell myself that I am probably not. I am just LYING to myself in order to keep going. Or else I would simply quit and give up.

But then there are these “insane” periods in my life.

These moments where I feel this intense connectivity to every human being around me. 

Where I feel like there is an OBLIGATION to share my knowledge and gifts with the world. The moments where I feel like it is my duty to do what I am here to do.

And that it would be selfish of me to hold back.

I would rob the world of my greatest gifts and ideas. And therefore actually create additional pain by holding them back.

Why would you do that? If you could also just simply share them…

So in a sense I am saving lives.

I give what I can give at any given moment. For others to take. And maybe these “little gifts” occasionally save a life or two — other than my own.