I am my worst enemy and discourager. My mind loves to occupy itself with mental chatter, dragging me down and never seems to stop.
Whenever I come up with a new way to improve my life, bring it to the next level or just get a little bit happier for once, my mind quickly comes up with a thousand excuses why this is stupid, ridiculous and I am not worthy of getting all these things.
So what is wrong with me?
How can I make this stupid mental chatter stop?
Whenever I catch myself having stupid and repetitive thoughts dragging my happy self down, I try to simply watch my mind go crazy for a minute.
I just watch and see what happens next.
- I watch all the stupid excuses it comes up with.
- I watch how it tries to delude me into thinking I am not good enough and this will NEVER work.
- I watch how it makes me doubt myself again and crushes my self-esteem, making me feel like shit and worse than ever before.
- I watch myself getting shattered into pieces.
And then – after I finished watching this nightmare – I walk out of this mental cinema and keep doing what I was about to do anyways.
Sometimes I think so much, I am not even aware I am thinking anymore.
The mental chatter just went off and my “self” hopped on for a ride.
So whenever I am lucky enough to catch myself in the middle of thinking stupid thoughts in endless circles, I try to pause for a moment and evaluate its truth content.
“Is what I am so certain of right now really true?”
“Could the opposite be true as well (or even more true)?”
Maybe she is a stupid, cold-hearted and ignorant bitch who doesn’t care about what I feel. But maybe she is also just a little insecure girl trying to get me to like her and doesn’t know how to get through to me.
The opposite of each negative thought could be true as well.
But having good ones helps you to have the desire to wake up and leave your bed tomorrow again.
Every thought which is not lifting you up, is dragging you down.
And because we have so much thoughts each day (most of them unconsciously) we have to be extra careful to keep the balance “positive”.
To have more positive and uplifting thoughts than negative and fucked-up ones.
So that we will be able to stand tall and look ourselves in the mirror loving what we see – each and every new day.
The world out there can be fucking unfair at times. Sometimes things happen which bring you out of balance and turn your world upside down.
But when your inner world is scattered as well, these external events can do some REAL damage. That’s when they reach your inner most core. And they pierce you right into your heart.
So don’t give them more leverage by amplifying it with your own toxic thoughts.
Try to work against it instead.
By keeping your mental defense barrier strong and the “how-do-I-think-about-myself” balance on the positive side.
And you are good to go.