Thomas Mondel Writer. Thinker. Blogger.

How to NEVER Be Happy

Being happy is easy. But being unhappy is the real challenge. This is where all the hard work is. Nobody teaches you how to be truly unhappy.

Sadly, this is not taught in school.

You gotta adopt a lot of nasty habits and work on them for quite a long time. It takes so much time and dedication that a lot of people won’t stick with it. And then they give up.

But this guide will help you out.

You can do it.

Here is a list of things you have to do to make sure to be unhappy all the time:

1. Do stuff you don’t like doing.

There is nothing more draining than doing stuff you hate doing. So in order to get yourself miserable very fast just keep doing things you dislike for the majority of your time.

You need your bullshit job. You won’t make it without it. A job where nobody takes you seriously and you are a nobody. Trust me. You need it to pay your bills. I can assure you there is no other way out there to make money for food and shelter. The chance to find something you enjoy doing AND make a living off of it are too slim to even try to strive for.

2. Don’t give back.

There are people trying to tell you that “giving back” and “contribution” in general are the only things to become truly happy in life.

So let’s drop this one.

3. Isolate yourself.

The fact that human beings are social creatures is a lie. No human achievement has ever been accomplished by people working together. Think about the Edisons and Einsteins in the world. They were all sitting alone in the dark working on their stuff alone. They sure thing had no advisors, mentors or friends they could interact and socialise with.

You don’t need anyone either to strive and become successful and happy in life. You can achieve all that by yourself. The fact that big and successful businesses are a accumulation of highly talented people working together smoothly is just a random idea pushed by the media and social conditioning.

Taking some time off with friends, socialising and having a good time is way overrated anyways.

4. Take everything for granted.

Don’t look at what you have and be happy about it. There gotta be more than that. Being happy with the things you do have going on for in your life is the mentality of a loser. You are not like that. You go for the next level.

Because you deserve better.

5. Don’t read books.

Books are the result of some weird marketing jerks who try to use you to become rich. They just want to make money off of you. Also, reading is boring. And sayings like “the more you learn, the more you earn” are lies. So why would you waste time (in a boring way) and educate yourself about the stuff famous and successful people have learned in their life span.

The fact that you can learn in a couple of hours what took them years to master won’t be the solutions to become happy and fix some of your problems.

6. Never seek out for advice.

You already know everything there is.

7. Always focus on other people’s achievements.

This is probably the master key to unhappiness.

There will always be people being smarter, richer, and better looking than you. And as long as you are not as good as them you will never be happy. Period.

So better keep comparing yourself to them and try to be just like them. Because who needs individualism anyways?

People telling you that “the real you” is good enough are just some weirdos who try to sell you their self-help seminar tickets. And the one website promising you that the key to financial success, women and happiness is only 3 payments of $29.99 away is in fact right.

You are lucky you are one of the few who stumbled upon it.

8. Let other’s fix your life.

Politicians are here to help you. So they should do something about you being broke. They should lower the taxes. And make education free for everyone.

Oh wait. There is the internet.

Sorry.

But they should lower the taxes though!

9. Dislike your mirror image.

Look closely and see where all the small errors and imperfections are. This is where you have to focus on. No need to see the whole human being with its very unique and special features. Look into the mirror and zoom into the tiny imperfections.

Now compare yourself to the next top model and it’s photoshopped cover pic and feel assured that you are now one step closer to unhappiness.

10. Watch TV.

This is where you relax and enjoy yourself after a long and draining day at work. You worked your ass off at a job you don’t like. Now you deserve to numb your brain for a couple of hours by putting in more bullshit and social conditions.

Why would you want to raise above consciousness when you can also slide through below?

11. Read the news.

The newspapers are build to focus your thoughts onto the real world problems. They report about what is important. Or else they would not be as big and powerful as they are, right?

So if you want to be a well-educated man or woman you gotta be up-to-date with what goes on in the world. How else would you want to make a positive change to it?

12. Listen to depressive music.

Music can make you forget time and change your mood. It can inflict joyful moments and bring you back to amazing memories.

But it can also make you unhappy and sad. This is what we aim for!

13. Repeat the toxic thoughts in your head.

The voice in your head is right! You are a loser. And you will never make it. You are fat and that’s the reason you are alone. You are not good enough and you will never be successful. You better buy this 3 payments of $29.99 program you saw today! This is the magic pill. You are nothing without it.

In order to be truly unhappy you have to get this last point right. You have to focus on the right thoughts to get you in the mood.

But you might ask how.

“This is too difficult. I cannot change my thoughts and habits! It’s just to hard. I will never be unhappy! This is just not what I am!”

Yes it’s very difficult to totally turn it around and become unhappy.

But you can do it!

Just follow the steps in this guide (and buy my self-help program).

Thomas Mondel Writer. Thinker. Blogger.